Attending College in 3...2...1...

By Dira Sabrina - Friday, March 24, 2017

picture source: weheartit

It's been a century since i posted my previous entry, right? Okay, um, i kind of surprised and feel miserable at the same time because it's near April already. Like literally, time is too fast enough. Basically, in the new year, in the interim people will make resolutions. But if people ask me 'what is your resolution?', i dont have any of those bullshit resolutions. But i do have made some like four years ago, but no one was actually happened or reached lollll.

But there is a resolution that I have in my entire high school life, to attending superb college. At the beginning of December, i did my final exam, you know, what a stress day. First of all, when i knew all of my scores, i sort of disappointed because my scores aren't that pleasant. But luckily, my teachers gave me one more chance to increase my scores, because me and all of 12 grader are about to attend college, you know it. So, in order to that, i used my last chance as good as possible. I go home at 3 pm everyday. What a good student :') And, my final report is not that bad actually, at least all of my scores surpass 80 (and 80 also my school's minimum completeness criteria). But my main question is, could my scores make me pass university admission (Indonesian people call it SNMPTN)?

I have garbled feelings and also curious at the same time, what it feels like to be a college student. From my point of view, college is like overlapping tasks, new friends and personalities, feeling super tired, come home late, away from family (most of student college, actually), and stay in 'kos-kosan'. And if I settled down at some place near my college but away from my family, I think I need to do part-time jobs just to buy food loll. And there is one more concern of mine.

I am, a little bit, kind of, hard of making friends, I mean like it feels so hard for me to open a conversation with other stranger first. I tend to wait for people to say hi to me first, and even make a conversation. I have combination of personalities, introvert and also, extrovert. I am likely to be introvert in specific situation like meeting strangers, making friends, or be in a big circumstance like party, I just want to be with my close friends, like, I am uninterested to greet another people. So, when does my extrovert personality works? It just works whenever I am with my squad. I like to talk with more than one people, I dont know why but it feels awkward to talk with just one person. If I talked with more than one, I feel like there are so many interests and topics to discuss. People who doesn't know me yet, will have thoughts of me like I am soooo silent, either motionless. It is because if I said hi first, I am afraid it would turns out to be a super awkward conversation, or I dont know anything else to say, or I dont know how to search another topics, or answer their questions without making anything so awkward. That's what I'm afraid of.

And nooow, I have finished my exams and there is only Ujian Nasional left, and being a near-graduate-twelve-grader person, i have to plan where i want to continue my education. Well, i've planned it. I really REALLY want to continue at one of the best university in Indonesia, located at Depok, its University of Indonesia. But i feel super anxious, and i can feel my perplexity inside my head. Entering college is not as easy as i thought. I've opined that if I want to go to college, you only have to get good grades. The reality is, you HAVE to compete with other students all over Indonesia, especially when you planned to go to one of the most prestigious college in Indonesia. I finished my SNMPTN registration, entered PPKB UI, and i will register myself as SBMPTN participant on April. I'm just hoping that i could go to the college that i want.

Sorry for my long concern, yeah well im trying to relieve my stress lol. Bye💖

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